i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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