He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
