I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
