My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
