matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
