If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
