she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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