one might say we're banned from that church
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
