his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
