fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
