I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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