She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
