my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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