There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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