he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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