hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
