Don't you send me to vm
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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