I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
