he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
