it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
