her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My pussy is not your playground.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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