the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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