I can tuck mytits in my pants
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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