A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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