I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
