Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
honey bunches of taint.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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