Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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