party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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