ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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