I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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