Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
