We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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