Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
