Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
