Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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