I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
