She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
