so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
