do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
