It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
