There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
