I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
