that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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