I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
