you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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