I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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