Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
