the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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