your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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