i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
