He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
